zimena: (Misc - Doll-like woman)
How do you get comfortable with driving, anyway?

I've been working on it for months now, and I still feel shit at it. What's more, I promised to go for at least a short drive today, and I'm dreading it to the point that I feel sick. I'm literally in pieces inside.

...about something I technically know how to do?! Really?!

Date: 09/07/2017 10:30 (UTC)From: [personal profile] angrboda
angrboda: Close-up of hedgehog bristles, with my username written above (Default)
This is why I never got a license. I feel like me driving would be a Really Bad Idea. To be honest, if there isn't a bicycle lane and it's not a quiet place, I feel unsafe on a bicycle as well. I'm just generally a bit scared of traffic.

Sorry, that's not helpful. :(

Date: 09/07/2017 16:35 (UTC)From: [personal profile] angrboda
angrboda: Close-up of hedgehog bristles, with my username written above (Default)
You can probably gain confidence through practice, but for my sake I happen to live in a place with good public transport, so it strikes me as a waste of money to learn something I won't be using much because Husband needs the car for his commute. And it's too damn expensive to run two cars in this country anyway.

Date: 09/07/2017 16:55 (UTC)From: [personal profile] jenni_blog
jenni_blog: (Default)
You know what? I feel the same about driving! There are certain reasons though:

1. Aggressive drivers scare me and there seem to be too many of them out there!

2. I don't have confidence in my driving. Maybe because I learned late - I was age 30 when I got my license and most of my friends got theirs in their teens.

3. I've had three minor accidents and one moderate one where no one was hurt but there was a lot of damage to the car. I think that had a negative effect on me.

4. I don't trust myself to be aware of all that's around me (this ties in with #2 and #1 because there is no way I could ever drive as fast or aggressively as other drivers and I'm afraid I might not see them if they pull out too quickly and try to pass me or come darting out of a side street. Those drivers scare me the most - the 'too quick' ones. I can't keep up with them.

You know what? Driving totally sucks!!! :(

Date: 09/07/2017 17:02 (UTC)From: [personal profile] upanddisappear
upanddisappear: (Default)
I'm still not comfortable with driving. I don't enjoy it.

The only way is doing it a lot, I guess. In theory.

Date: 14/07/2017 12:19 (UTC)From: [personal profile] gobtastic
gobtastic: (Barbed wire heart)
Is it to do with being away from home/a safe spot? Being cooped up in a small box (the car)? Or the thought that something might go wrong - either driving or with the car?

I don't know what to suggest other than ways of calming and grounding that help with panic, maybe? Like, stopping everything (pull over if you're driving and need to?). Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Look around you. Name the things you see, slowly and methodically. Say what colour they are. Touch them and experience their textures - are they warm, rough, cool, smooth? Keep this up until you feel a little calmer. You're here, right here right now, and that's okay.

Outside of that...and I feel super selfish for relating it to myself yet again, but I sometimes get something a little like this, perhaps? A good example is when I went to the hairdresser's last month. I know the place. I know the girl who was gonna be doing my hair. I know she is a world of awesome, as is the shop - and that there wouldn't be anyone else there, so no worries about other people. Yet still I was scared. Sitting there for so long. Just getting there in the car. Can I do it? What if I get sick? The whole thing felt like a huge weight that would go on for so long, and the more I thought of it and the closer it came, the worse the panic got (I used to do this about going to the football too, only it was much worse and I'd drink to get through it). In the end I went anyway, and I had an amazing time and didn't feel sick once.

You can drive. You passed your test - and they don't let just anyone pass, because if you weren't good enough to drive you'd be a danger to everyone else on the road. So you CAN do this. It's fine, really. You want to get to where you're going, and driving is the best way to do it. Better than the bus or a taxi, right?

Is it worth doing short drives every day, or every few days? Just round the block, maybe? Extending the drive a little bit more each time, so you get more confident? Would that work?

I'm so sorry this is so difficult for you, love. It's so bloody frustrating. You can do this, though. I know you can. <3

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