zimena: Beautiful, somewhat scary woman. (Misc - Mystery Ana)
[personal profile] zimena
I had The Big Cleaning And Tidying Day today. My bedroom has been in need of cleaning and tidying for some time now, but somehow I kept postponing it. Today I not only cleaned everything, but I also cleared my desk and some other random stuff that has been lying around since forever.

...of course you might argue that I only cleared the desk because I need space to properly see what I'm gonna pack for the Portugal trip when the time comes, but let's not talk about that. Instead, let me enjoy the feeling of accomplishment after getting this done after postponing it a number of times before.

On a different note, I got a new haircut the other day. It looked okay when I was at the hairdresser's, and it still feels good to have short hair again (as opposed to the unruly mess I had before the haircut. Even my hairbrush wouldn't comb through it, and I had to comb it in two layers, kinda). There is, however, one comment from the hairdresser that is starting to bother me now - even though I didn't react to it that much when I was actually there.

Let's just say I've had the same general short hairstyle for years. I usually just comb all my hair backwards, and when it's newly cut, it should be short enough to stand upwards a little bit - but there should still be enough hair left that it can fall generally in a backwards direction. So, not so short that there are just a few centimetres of hair left, but also not so long that it falls out of shape - it'll do that after a couple of weeks, though.

Usually this explanation gets me what I want, even though I hate explaining which haircut I want. I'm always afraid that I'll get something totally different... and this time that was exactly what happened. When the hairdresser was done, my hair was kind of generally in a "round" shape. I pointed out the problem of that to her, and she kinda fixed it a little bit, but even now you can still see that basic shape. When I tried to point out this to her, she said this: "I can't really cut more than I did now. And I tried to make a nice and feminine-looking shape."

You know what? FUCK YOU AND YOUR ATTEMPTS AT TRYING TO MAKE ME FIT YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF FEMININITY! FUCK IT, SERIOUSLY!

Okay, angry outburst aside, this makes me more furious the more I think of it. While it is true that she couldn't really cut much more hair, she could have simply asked if she had any doubts about what I said. I have no desire to do things that would make me fit some random person's standard of femininity. In fact, I have no desire to look feminine at all - and if I do it's either by coincidence or by annoying facts of life.

I mean, I tried to show her what I usually do to my hair, so I don't understand why she couldn't just do what I asked. It's not like I could have stopped her earlier either, because when you're sitting there getting your hair cut, the hairdresser puts all sorts of pins and things in it, and you can't really tell what she's doing until it's done. Even then, I need to touch it and wash it myself before I'm completely sure what the new cut is like.

Somehow, her comment about femininity bothers me more and more. When she said it, I just wanted to get out of there and be done with the whole thing, so I tried to not take it to heart too much. Now that I've had time to think of it, I can't stop thinking of how rude and hurtful and infuriating it was.

I kind of want my hair to grow out again as soon as possible, so that I can go and get my usual cut again soon. Perhaps the current cut isn't "ugly" either, but it's not me and not what I asked for and the shape just bothers me a lot because of everything I said above.

Date: Saturday, 17 June 2017 19:42 (UTC)
catness: (fuckupfairy)
From: [personal profile] catness
I'm sure she didn't intend to offend you, but I can totally relate to being angry about such a comment (and behavior), when someone assumes that the other person wants to apear feminine! Ugh... Also, specifically about haircuts... I don't know if it's the same all over the world, but here, women's haircuts automatically cost 3-4 times more than men's haircuts, even if it's basically the same style, and my hair is shorter than many men's hair. And it really pisses me off.

Actually, I don't know crap about styles, so every time I go to the hairdresser, I say "cut it as short as possible"; and they try to do something fancy with it anyway. But recently, I found a perfect hairdresser :) :) or rather, my SO found him - it's a small, poor one-man salon owned by an old French guy who only does male haircuts, but he has no problem with me being a woman, and with charging me the men's rate. Most importantly, he figured out right away what I wanted - I think it's called a buzz cut - it looks better than any feminine styles, and stays reasonably short for a longer time.

Anyway, hair grows fast (unfortunately.... LOL), so you'll have the opportunity to alter your haircut very soon indeed, and hopefully this time you'll get what you want! Meanwhile, just try to not get upset about it... you're a wonderful person, no matter the hair :)

Date: Saturday, 17 June 2017 20:36 (UTC)
hollymath: (Default)
From: [personal profile] hollymath
I hardly ever get my hair the way I want because people try to make it more "feminine". Even once when I went to a barber he did this. It's so disappointing.

Date: Sunday, 18 June 2017 03:02 (UTC)
upanddisappear: (Default)
From: [personal profile] upanddisappear
Ugh, every time I go to get my head shaved I have the same battle. I'd just buy a shaver and do it myself, but it's worth it to me to go to the cheap chain and have them do the clean up. That way I don't have to worry about it being uneven or whatever either. And I like the hot towel treatment after.

Date: Sunday, 18 June 2017 16:41 (UTC)
jenni_blog: (people-desperate romantics-gabriel & liz)
From: [personal profile] jenni_blog
I really hate going to the hair salon! Years ago I used to tolerate it but for the past few years I've found it so off-putting that I haven't gone for a couple of years now. I've been cutting it myself - my hair is straight and fine and it's somewhat easy for me to cut it into a page-boy bob style.

What makes me seethe with anger are memories of what I used to put up with in the past - hair stylists putting their own desires before mine while cutting my hair - rude comments from stylists about what my hair is like - telling me what they think suits me instead of listening to what I want - or lazy hairdressers who make mistakes and needing to be told they forgot to cut the front as well as the back! And the last time I went it was for a colour and a cut because I was going on a trip so I knew it would cost more than usual, but when the bill came to over $200 I actually froze and was unable to speak for hours after I handed over my credit card to be abused. I was totally stunned. Needless to say I cannot afford to pay $200 for my hair anymore!

I do hope your haircut didn't cost too much! :(
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